How to Pour Cereal
Today, we’ll be exploring a core culinary technique every home cook should have in his or her repertoire: how to pour a bowl of cereal.
A well-poured bowl of cereal is a savior on nights when you’re not in the mood to cook, and it’s perfect for busy mornings when you only have a few minutes to gulp down breakfast on your way out the door. Although it can take a few tries to master, pouring a bowl of cereal is a critical life skill that is worth investing a little effort and practice to master, particularly if you live alone, fear the stove, or are a college student.
Step One: Select the Cereal.
Pouring a bowl of cereal begins with the selection of the cereal itself. Navigate to the cereal aisle of your local grocery store. It is likely to be long, double-sided, colorful, and contain entirely too many choices. Gauge your mood and pick a box to match. Feeling nostalgic? Locate the Fruity Pebbles or Cinnamon Life. Hipster? Beeline for words like “chia” and “flax.” Cheap? Forsake the box and pillage the least suspicious-looking cereal bag from the bottom shelf. Confused? Buy two.
For the purposes of today’s demonstration, we’re keeping it simple with the discount brand of Cornflakes (nine essential nutrients!). Be sure to artistically spill the cereal in front of the box before you move to the next step. The cereal tastes better this way.
Step Two: Pour the Cereal into a Bowl.
Open the box (unless you purchased aforementioned bag-only cereal from the bottom shelf in Step One). Open the inner bag (unless the inner and outer bag are the same, again reference Step One). Hold the box firmly towards the bottom end, then lift and tilt the box to pour the cereal into an empty bowl. You will also be eating from this bowl, so keep your relative appetite and the bowl’s cleanliness in mind prior to pouring.
Step Three: Select the Milk (or Milk-Like Substance).
Use skim to keep it lean and mean, whole if you are gutsy, or goats milk if you’re into that sort of thing. Assorted nut milks and other non-dairy options can also be used, depending upon your needs/diet/unspoken lunch table etiquette. For bonus points, transfer the milk from its original container into a cute little milk jug prior to moving to Step Four.
Step Four: Pour the Milk into the Bowl with the Cereal.
This is the exciting part! Let the milk flow into the bowl until you can just see it peeking underneath the top-most layer of cereal.
Step Five: Eat.
Details for how to complete this step will be covered in a later post.
Step Six. Drink the Milk at the Bottom of the Bowl.
This step applies only to Lucky Charms, Cocoa Pebbles, and other cereals that turn your milk a cryptic, pastel hue.
Step Seven. Leave the Dishes in the Sink for Mom.
Just kidding! Be a gem and wash your bowl and spoon. It’s good cereal behavior.
Disclaimer: this post is all manners of ridiculous and should be ignored. Happy April Fool’s Day!
Disclaimer, continued: But really, wash your bowl. Crusty Cornflake residue is no one’s friend.
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