Outrageous Oatmeal Cookies

Do you see this victim of 80’s fashion? Let me tell you, her awkwardness did not diminish in the 90’s, even with the removal of the full-forehead bang. In case you haven’t already guessed, this little chipmunk is none other than Yours Truly.

I was a gawky elementary schooler to be certain, but at least I had my childlike innocence and ugly duckling appeal to endear myself to others. In middle school, both of these weapons faded and were replaced with a perpetual state of embarrassment and general social discomfort. It would take private ownership of a tidy, tropically located island and a lifetime supply of Godiva truffles to entice me to relive it.

So, imagine my horror to discover these middle school feelings creeping up yesterday evening, when I didn’t even have a healthy supply of truffles to assuage the pain!

The cause: BBQ.

Who knew it could be so sinister?

I was thrilled when Ben informed me that I had SOCIAL PLANS on Thursday evening. As any of my friends will tell you, I love to be around people and to attend social events in general. Being new in town, however, I’m still working on meeting people and expanding my network. When I learned one of Ben’s good law school friends was throwing an end-of-year BBQ bash, I jumped at the opportunity. When I asked Ben what time we were going, he corrected me: “I’m not going, you are going.”

Though Ben has finished finals (huzzah!), he’s been busy every waking moment since working on an application for something sinister known as “Law Review” or “Law Journal”. From what I gather, the application process is a living nightmare and actually being on the journal is even worse; however, it is extremely prestigious and future employers smile upon it. Thus, law students clamor for one of the 20 coveted slots. Ben’s application was due the day after the BBQ, and he still had a ways to go. I’d be flying solo.

A backyard filled with 30+ strangers? No time to be intimidatedhttps://www.wellplated.com/instant-updates/I needed Madtown friends! I might not be able to guarantee they’d like me for me, but I could guarantee that at least half of them would like me for my baking.  A sure crowd pleaser: cookies.

What’s not to love?
While I regard chocolate chip as the Cookie Ultimate, this flavor is risky: every true American has one, very special chocolate chip cookie that holds Spot #1 in their hearts (Mom’s). Not wanting to compete with any family legends, I opted for an under-appreciated, but indisputably delicious alternative: The Oatmeal Scotchie.
I wasn’t going to add chocolate, really. Or nuts. Or any extra spices. Best play it safe…..but seriously. What cookie isn’t better with chocolate? Hence, my creation of: OUTRAGEOUS OATMEAL COOKIES. Any other oatmeal cookie will simply never be enough!

Outrageous Oatmeal Cookies

Oatmeal cookies loaded with chocolate, butterscotch, and a hint of cinnamon. One of the best oatmeal cookie recipes out there and even uses whole wheat flour.

  • 3/4 cup butter ((1 and 1/2 sticks) softened)
  • 1 cup packed brown sugar ((I used light, but dark works too))
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 2 cups old fashioned rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts
  • 1/2 cup butterscotch chips
  • 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or dark chocolate chips)
  1. Preheat oven to 375ºF.

  2. Toast the walnuts. (It makes the finished product 100,000x better!) Place walnuts in a small skillet. Turn heat to medium-low and keep an eye on them for a few minutes, stirring occasionally. Be careful not to burn. Once they smell fragrant and nutty, remove from heat and set aside to cool.
  3. In a large bowl, cream butter for 30 seconds. Add sugar. Beat until fluffy and fully combined. Beat in eggs and vanilla extract. Add baking powder, baking soda, spices, and salt.
  4. Slowly add flours, beating in as much as you can, then finish by stirring with a wooden spoon if necessary.
  5. Stir in rolled oats.
  6. Stir in walnuts, butterscotch chips, and chocolate chips.
  7. If you have time: Refrigerate dough for a few hours or overnight. It allows the flavors to meld together and makes an even more fantastic cookie.
  8. Once you are ready to bake, drop dough by rounded teaspoons (I use a small ice cream scoop) on an ungreased cookie sheet.
  9. Bake for 9 to 12 minutes, or until golden at the edges.
  10. Remove from baking sheet to cool. Enjoy immediately with a big glass of milk!

Dough so delectable, it’s almost a shame to bake it.
Oh, and the BBQ?
Good feeling country music on the drive over chased away any lingering butterflies. Cookies were a smash, I met some lovely people, and maybe even made a friend or two. Was it me, or the Outrageous Oatmeals? Time will tell!